This is something I've been asking myself a lot lately. No, I'm not referring to the phrase "What Would Jesus Do?". I actually find that question to be self-aggrandizing and egocentric, elevating yourself to the same level as Jesus and all. If it helps you out, good for you, no judgement, it just always bugs the crap out of me. But anyhow, I digress. When I ask this question to myself, I always wonder: What would Janine do?
For those of you who don't know me well, Janine was my mom (and always will be, nobody can take that way from me). She passed away when I was 11. I remember quite a bit about her, not as much as I'd like, but a lot nonetheless. Now I'm finding that, although I thought I knew her pretty well, being a mom has reconnected us and I know her in a way that I didn't when she was alive. Maybe it's that way for all motherless daughters. Because, you see, every mom wants the same basic things (unless she's a heartless bag of evil who doesn't give a rat's ass about her kids, I suppose): To raise happy kids, to be a good parent, and not to mess the offspring up too badly, because let's face it, you WILL make some mistakes along the way.
Now my mom was no saint; she made some bad choices (but who hasn't?), she wasn't extremely well educated, and she kind of had a potty mouth, which I think rubbed off on me a bit. However, if there's any feeling I came away with after getting to spend 11 years with her as my sole parent, she was funny. Quick to see the humor in any situation, which, as a parent, can be a saving grace (she thwarted many a temper tantrum with her hilarious, spot-on imitations of my younger sister in a fit of fury).
She was also very matter of fact and patient. I don't remember her losing her cool very often. When we were being obnoxious, she was always very collected and in control, save a handful of times. This is something I struggle with on a daily basis (because, also for those of you that don't know me well, I have a very spirited 2 year old who likes to get on my last nerve at least 50 times daily). And if you asked her a tricky question, she'd always give the most honest and direct answer possible, without being overly informative and in age-appropriate terms.
These were all things about her that I never really thought about, until I had kids of my own. I'm ashamed to say that, when I thought about being a parent pre-kiddos, I was much more focused on the things that she did wrong as a mom. Not my memories in general, just regarding thoughts to the kind of parent I wanted to be. Now that I'm the same age as she was when she had two kids (29), it has really opened my eyes to all the things she did right.
And so I thank my mom, for being hilarious (which more than a few people say has also rubbed off on me). And for not making us feel like a pain in the ass too often (even when we were). And for taking care of us when we were sick and not making it feel like an enormous chore (even if it was). Also, for giving us life and love as long as you lived. My only regret is that she's not around to do a great parody of Garrett's tantrums. How great would that have been?
