Fluffy butts!

WARNING: Some of you may find this incredibly boring!

Okay, so for those of you who know me well, you know that I'm a pretty avid cloth diaper-er. Both kids have worn them since they stopped pooping out black tar (meconium, if you want to get technical) at 2 or 3 days old. Up until now I'd always used Fuzzibunz, a pocket diaper with a microfleece inner, a PUL outer, stuffed with microfiber inserts. We bought these kind for Garrett and have them in 3 different sizes (up to potty training size). They're simple, I just put them on the kids' butts, washed them, and didn't really think about it much. Then it all changed..........

I decided to make the switch to natural fibers a few months back, by selling off the small Fuzzibunz once Owen grew out of them, and the large ones that got too big for Garrett once he started slimming down. Then, with both kids in mediums, I could sell off the smalls and larges, building a stash of things I like. I'm cheap, and don't want to spend more money on diapers than we've already spent ($1500 or so on Fuzzibunz), so I wanted to sell them off first. Luckily, there's a fabulous online cloth-diapering community, full of mamas who like to buy, sell, and talk about diapers! I went for prefolds (A thick piece of cotton you fold and pin or snappi together) and fitteds, both of which need a cover over them. I went for wool, which is a natural fiber, that is antibacterial (when lanolized properly, it actually turns pee into saline) and can absorb up to three times it's weight in water without feeling wet.

Before the switch, I'd never been one of those mamas who likes to discuss and drool endlessly over cloth (and you know who you are), but now it's a whole different ballgame. There are diapers out there that are so soft and silky (like OBV, organic bamboo/velour), you wish you were wearing them. In patterns so cute you wouldn't believe, and in all different kinds of material....egyptian cotton, hemp fleece, bamboo, OBV. Don't even get me started on the wool..... I've literally salivated over knit longies (diaper cover and pants made of wool) so beautiful, they make you want to cry! I'm not proud to admit it, but I have seriously considered trying for a girl, just for the wool longies with ruffles on the booty.

What have I become? Now, being that I'm still expecting quite a few things in the mail, I've become a mailman stalker, hoping every day to get more fluffy wool and soft diapers for Owen. I'm always looking on HyenaCart.com for deals on mom-made or gently used diapers and wool. In fact, they call women like me "hyenas", so I guess that would be the perfect website to log onto 5 times a day! The biggest hyena I know said "how far you've fallen" just last week, and I kind of had to agree. I'm even thinking of learning to knit so I can make my own longies without having to pay up the butt for them (for knit longies, 1 pair brand new, it's not unusual for them to run $60+)!

I wonder what it is about cloth diapering that so many mamas get so interested in? I literally organize mine by color and type, and spend a few minutes every day making a solution of organic baby wash, coconut oil, and warm water to wet down my wipes with (yes, I also use cloth wipes). I actually find it calming, preparing all the diaper things and seeing all the soft puffy diapers all organized on the changing table. Weird, I know. But I'm happy in my little obsession....hey, at least it's not crack!

WWJD?

This is something I've been asking myself a lot lately. No, I'm not referring to the phrase "What Would Jesus Do?". I actually find that question to be self-aggrandizing and egocentric, elevating yourself to the same level as Jesus and all. If it helps you out, good for you, no judgement, it just always bugs the crap out of me. But anyhow, I digress. When I ask this question to myself, I always wonder: What would Janine do?

For those of you who don't know me well, Janine was my mom (and always will be, nobody can take that way from me). She passed away when I was 11. I remember quite a bit about her, not as much as I'd like, but a lot nonetheless. Now I'm finding that, although I thought I knew her pretty well, being a mom has reconnected us and I know her in a way that I didn't when she was alive. Maybe it's that way for all motherless daughters. Because, you see, every mom wants the same basic things (unless she's a heartless bag of evil who doesn't give a rat's ass about her kids, I suppose): To raise happy kids, to be a good parent, and not to mess the offspring up too badly, because let's face it, you WILL make some mistakes along the way.

Now my mom was no saint; she made some bad choices (but who hasn't?), she wasn't extremely well educated, and she kind of had a potty mouth, which I think rubbed off on me a bit. However, if there's any feeling I came away with after getting to spend 11 years with her as my sole parent, she was funny. Quick to see the humor in any situation, which, as a parent, can be a saving grace (she thwarted many a temper tantrum with her hilarious, spot-on imitations of my younger sister in a fit of fury).

She was also very matter of fact and patient. I don't remember her losing her cool very often. When we were being obnoxious, she was always very collected and in control, save a handful of times. This is something I struggle with on a daily basis (because, also for those of you that don't know me well, I have a very spirited 2 year old who likes to get on my last nerve at least 50 times daily). And if you asked her a tricky question, she'd always give the most honest and direct answer possible, without being overly informative and in age-appropriate terms.

These were all things about her that I never really thought about, until I had kids of my own. I'm ashamed to say that, when I thought about being a parent pre-kiddos, I was much more focused on the things that she did wrong as a mom. Not my memories in general, just regarding thoughts to the kind of parent I wanted to be. Now that I'm the same age as she was when she had two kids (29), it has really opened my eyes to all the things she did right.

And so I thank my mom, for being hilarious (which more than a few people say has also rubbed off on me). And for not making us feel like a pain in the ass too often (even when we were). And for taking care of us when we were sick and not making it feel like an enormous chore (even if it was). Also, for giving us life and love as long as you lived. My only regret is that she's not around to do a great parody of Garrett's tantrums. How great would that have been?